Listening Is a Leadership Skill, Not a Courtesy 

Have you ever interrupted someone in a meeting because you already knew the answer?

Most leaders have.

by Janet Ply, PhD · The Practical Leadership Newsletter · March 17, 2026

You hear the first part of what someone is saying and your brain jumps ahead. You think you already understand the problem, so you jump in with a solution.

Our brain takes cognitive shortcuts so we can be more efficient. Most of the time, that’s a great feature - but other times, it does more damage than good. Like when you need to actively listen to what someone else is saying.

Sometimes the most important part of the message comes after the point where we interrupt.

And when it happens often enough, people eventually stop sharing what they really think because they can’t finish their thoughts or sentences.

Getting interrupted is one of my pet peeves. It’s clear that the person interrupting has little self-awareness or self-management and it says, “I don’t care enough about you to let you finish talking. My idea is better or what I have to say is more important.”

He Thought He Was a Great Communicator - Until the Feedback Came Back

A colleague of mine once received a 360-degree feedback report that completely surprised him.

He had worked his way up over twelve years to a senior director role and had multiple teams reporting to him. He believed he was a strong communicator. He held regular meetings, maintained an open-door policy, and kept information flowing through frequent emails.

So when the feedback report came back, he expected to see strong scores for how well he communicated.

Instead, the comments said things like:

“He interrupts people during meetings.”
“He tends to dominate conversations.”
“It feels like he’s already made up his mind before hearing others out.”

The problem wasn’t that he couldn’t communicate. The problem was that he wasn’t really listening.

Once he became aware of the pattern, he began asking for more feedback and made a deliberate effort to listen differently. A few months later he shared this:

"I didn’t realize how much information I was missing until I really started listening."

That insight is one many leaders discover the hard way.

Communication Is Not Just Sending Information

Many leaders think communication means delivering information clearly.

But leadership communication is really about understanding information and making people feel heard and understood.

If leaders aren’t listening well, several things happen:

• Important details never surface
  
  
• Employees stop sharing ideas
  
  
• Problems show up later than they should
  
  
• Decisions are made with incomplete information
  
  

Listening isn’t passive. It’s one of the most important ways leaders gather insight.

In fact, it’s often the difference between a leader who reacts to problems and one who sees them coming.

The Leadership Multiplier: People Mimic the Leader

One of the most important things leaders should remember is that people mimic the leader.

If a leader interrupts people in meetings, others will begin interrupting as well. When a leader dominates conversations, team members will eventually stop offering ideas.

But when a leader listens carefully - asking questions to really understand, pausing before responding, and giving people space to think, the team begins to adopt those same behaviors. They are respectful to each other and listen to others’ ideas without interrupting.

Listening isn’t just a personal skill. It’s a culture-setting behavior.

When leaders demonstrate that people will be heard, team members are more likely to speak up, share ideas, and raise concerns before problems grow.

And that leads to better decisions and stronger teams.

Why This Matters for Leaders

Over the years I’ve worked with many leaders who believed they were strong communicators until feedback revealed a different story. Like most leadership skills, listening is rarely something we intentionally practice.

But once leaders become aware of how they show up in conversations, small changes can dramatically improve communication, trust, and decision-making.

Listening is not a passive leadership skill. It’s one of the most powerful tools leaders have for understanding their teams and the challenges they face and building trust.

Three Simple Ways to Improve Your Listening

Like most leadership skills, listening improves with practice.

Here are three tactics that make an immediate difference:

1. Remove distractions. Turn off notifications, close unnecessary windows, and give the speaker your full attention.
2. Paraphrase key points. Try saying, “So what I’m hearing is…” This confirms understanding and encourages the other person to clarify or expand.
3. Ask one clarifying question before offering a solution. Instead of jumping in with advice, ask, “What led you to that conclusion?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”

These small habits signal that you’re genuinely interested in understanding the situation.

The Real Impact of Listening

Listening doesn’t take more time. In many cases, it saves time.

When leaders truly understand what people are saying, they make better decisions, solve the right problems, and build stronger relationships along the way.

People may forget the details of a conversation.

But they rarely forget whether they felt heard.

And over time, teams become a reflection of how their leaders listen.

Leadership Is a Learnable Skill

If you want tactics you can use right now, Practical Leadership: A Guide to Building Trust, Getting Results, and Changing Lives would be a great addition to your library.

Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author and host of the Mel Robbins podcast had this praise for the book, “Janet Ply is the real deal. I’ve seen way too many talented people flail in leadership because nobody ever taught them how to do the job well. This book fixes that. Janet has been in the fire, she’s led through chaos, and now she’s giving you the tools she’s used to rescue high-stakes, high-dollar messes. If you lead people - or you want to - Practical Leadership should live on your desk. Get it, use it, lead better.”

Order it on Amazon or your favorite local bookstore.